You are currently browsing the monthly archive for September 2010.

I’m not sure what offending move I made, but for the past week, getting out of bed in the mornings have been adventures in pain evasion. In my movement off the mattress, my every move is calculated to avoid searing pain on my right side. If I make the slightest twist in a wrong direction I am rewarded by exquisite and savage torture. A blade slices into my side, leaving me a gutted fish with a gapping maw. Sometimes even laying still, I feel a flick which creates a spasm, seemingly for the simple pleasure of nudging neurons to sing.

Somewhere in my mid back lies a disgruntled muscle, a bitter nerve, angry at the way it perceives it has been treated, and focused on exacting payment. And I pay! I don’t know what I did to make it so angry, but I’ve been trying to make amends.

So far the muscle has been unforgiving. During the day it retreats into the normal aches and pains of my existence. In the middle of the night and in the mornings it rears its feral head. I am at its mercy. I beat it back with Aleve laced stretches, and yet it has returned every night this week.

My mattress has forever been a source of solace, and a safe haven of repose. These days it looks more like a venus flytrap, teasing me into the folds of the sheets.  Once there, it defies me to leave. I am reduced to sliding off the sheets in the most peculiar of movements.

To the the gods of muscles, I’m sorry. I regret what I’ve done, even if I have no idea what it was. I beg you, torment me no more.

It is amazing to realize a paradigm shift. My mattress, which has provided years of solace, now looks sinister.  I desire slumber, and fight fear. I long for relief and fear revenge.

At the end of the day, I climb into bed and take my chances because pain with sleep is better than pain without sleep.